Have you ever thought “I should exercise right now. If I don’t work out, I’m never going to get fit“, yet still stayed on the sofa rather than going to the gym? Statements like these have many hidden obstacles. For one thing, feeling like you should do something makes it seem like work, or an obligation. That’s no fun. You’re also thinking about what will happen if you don’t exercise – in other words, you’re threatening yourself with punishment (the image of being unfit). This is what psychologists call negative self-talk. Subconsciously, you’re flooding your mind with negativity.
Below is a section of a good article by Margaret Moore. If you aren’t sure of whether or not you are a negative self-talker, or if what you say to yourself is not useful, here’s a good, brief description.
What kinds of self-talk should you watch out for?
- Self-Limiting Talk. When we are self-limiting we may say things like, “I can’t tell him how I feel” or “It’s too hard to finish the project” or “I’m getting so fat!” Self-limiting talk creates a self-fulfilling prophecy because we stop looking for solutions and assume defeat. Instead of looking at our options, we tell ourselves that we can’t handle the things that face us.
- Jumping to Conclusions. When we experience an uncomfortable situation, we make interpretations rather than simply stating the facts. For example, we’ll say, “I tried on my jeans and looked so disgusting” or “Tom talked to me and I made a fool of myself” or “If I go to the gym, people will talk about me.” When we jump to conclusions, we too often assume the worst and make fact out of what might be fiction.
- Habits of Speech. Our speech patterns can be so automatic that we don’t even notice them. And though we may not even really mean what we say, it can have a negative impact on how we feel about ourselves. This may sound like, “What do you expect from a dumb blonde?” or “I’m so stupid!” This habit also shows up in the way we discount ourselves to others. For example, when someone tells us we look nice and we respond, “Yeah, right!” Though these detrimental habits may sometimes be disguised as humor, they aren’t funny at all.
- Others’ Thoughts Become Our Own. Some of our thoughts are planted by external sources such as our parents, spouse, colleagues, or friends. These well-meaning voices have clear expectations of us that become a part of our own self-talk. Though their thoughts can serve us, they can also become detrimental when we are unable to distinguish their ideas from our own. One sign of this form of negative self-talk is when we begin to hear ourselves say things like “You really shouldn’t…” or “You ought to…” When others’ thoughts become our own we begin to act out of guilt, rather than desire.
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Switch to positive thinking and get fitter
Next time you’re at the gym, think I can do this! Generating positive thoughts can help you perform better. It will feel silly and fake at first, but if you use positive self-talk, actually saying to yourself, “I am strong, I am able, I can do this” you really will perform better than those who talk negatively. Get rid of all the negative self-talk, and that includes “trash talk”. Insults will not get you motivated or fired up to exercise better. The more negative talk people use, the poorer their performance. Forget telling yourself “I am lazy; I am clumsy; I am being bad. Say to yourself, “I am awesome, I can do anything, I am strong and capable”. To increase your chances for success, focus on what you are doing right or why it feels good to do this particular move or exercise rather than saying I’m tired or it hurts or I can’t do this. You are not ignoring how you are feeling; you are just concentrating on what is making you feel good when you are doing it.